Day 11: Cruise Day 1 (PV)

CRUISE PHASE DAY 1

So... this morning I woke up at 7:30am, pumped up, full of energy. I checked the scale, and I had lost 1.4lbs since yesterday. So these are my stats...

Attack phase:

Days: 10

Weight Loss: -9.8 lbs

That's almost a pound a day. Not bad, if I do say so myself. The weight will start to come off slower now that I'm introducing vegetables every other day, but this is healthier, and a more realistic way to loose weight. The book says you should average about 2 lbs lost/week. I finished the book last night, and while on Phase II you need to increase your daily walks to 30'/day, it does NOT encourage any excessive exercising. The reason being is that, for people who need to loose a lot of weight, the cruise phase will last a loooong time (I think for me it will be until August ???), and at some point, depending on how many diets you've been on, you might start to plateau. Your body may begin to assimilate food differently, and extract more calories from the same food you've been eating. This is the time to pump up the exercise!!! Because while your input may become a problem (calories in) you can always alter your output (calories out).

Especially in a stagnation plateau, when the risk of giving up is high, the role that exercise plays becomes crucial. A body that has started to resist dieting cuts down its energy consumption and extracts every last calorie from its food intake, blocking weight loss long enough for the diet to fail. But when exercise is added to the equation, resistance gives way, weight drops, spirits rise, belief in the dieting program is reinforced, and the vicious circle becomes a virtuous one.

Dukan, Pierre (2011-04-19). The Dukan Diet: 2 Steps to Lose the Weight, 2 Steps to Keep It Off Forever (pp. 153-154). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I wanted to add this in because I think it's a really important thing to keep in mind. Also, it makes me feel a bit silly about my day7 post. I was trying to reach my goal by trying to push my exercise and ended up loosing the least. Oh well, live and learn. Just because you shouldn't do heavy exercise DOES NOT mean that you shouldn't be active. This is the important thing because what we want is a lifestyle change not just to fit into a size X pair of jeans. Therefore, we have to start thinking about all the technology that makes, and keeps, us LAZY (and fat). You know, before, when I was going to the gym- I, an overweight person, could not believe how many people- fat, fit, normal-- would circle the parking lot looking for a closer parking spot and would take the elevator to the third floor. All to go into a gym and walk on a treadmill and do the stair master. This blew my mind!!! It all adds up to make a difference, and all ways to burn calories without thinking, add 30' of moderate exercise (walking) and you got yourself a good foundation, and a plan that anyone should be able to follow.

Ok, enough lecturing! On to the good stuff...

My first cruise meal...Well, as I mentioned I wanted to make my greek omelette. I used 4 egg whites, 0.5 cups of spinach, 1 oz of fat-free feta, and I threw in a thin slice of 97% fat free ham to keep my protein ratio high, and so I wouldn't have to add salt. Also, I stuck my normal coffee in the blender with some ice to make a frappe. So, I had my breakfast ready to eat, I sit down at the table, I start to eat slow to enjoy my newly added greens and feta, and what happens?????

After about 4 bites, I was full!!! BEFORE- I would have finished it. Why? Because, I was raised to finish the food on my plate, because it was deeeelicious, and because god darn it...I deserved it!!! OH OH...RED FLAG!!!! Deserve? Deserve what exactly? Deserve to ruin my diet, just at the peak of my success? Deserve to feel full, bloated and sick? Deserve the guilt I would feel later on? BEFORE-- I would have rationalized it, "well before I was eating the same omelette, I just traded in all the ham for spinach, which is actually better for me. I worked hard for 10 days, I deserve my breakfast!!!"

What exactly was it that I thought I deserved? I realized at that moment that -maybe- what I thought I deserved was the short pleasure I would get from the taste of the food? But that is a really short pleasure in comparison to the pleasures of not eating it!!! All this happened in a flash (lightbulb). I stopped eating, as I was satisfied (pic on right) and put it away for later. I am confident that these are the little things that will continue to guarantee my success. Sorry to sound arrogant, but "yeaeh for me!!!!"

Day 10 PM (Done with ATTACK!!!) :D

I did it!!! I finished Phase I (Attack) of the Dukan diet!!! I started off with a blast, and finished in the same manner. It was a bit tough in the middle, and I thought about shortening it to 7 days, but I'm so glad I stuck with it. It helped to take it one day at a time. It wasn't that it was hard, but rather that I wanted something different, and a couple trips to the grocery store helped solve the problem. I will weigh myself tomorrow and give you my total pounds lost on this phase.

I am REALLY looking forward to starting the Cruise Phase of the diet. It's a bit more freeing, and I know I can work with veggies to make or invent great recipes. There are also some pseudo-dessert recipes out there as well-- but desserts are the least of my worries- I rarely ate them even when I wasn't on the diet. Not missing the carbs either- just veggies. This is rather ironic, since I was always forced to eat vegetables by family and friends.

I feel confident that this is a diet I can maintain. I think this is an important point. I don't think this diet is for everyone. It's important to know what the rules are from the get go, and be honest with yourself as to whether this is the right diet for YOU. I LOVE meat, don't like sweets, and wanted to get away from carbs (after 3 years in Italy), so I felt like this diet was perfect for me. There are a lot of diets out there. It's important to find the one that's right for you. Also, cutting out alcohol, adding in some exercise and tracking what I ate were a HUGE plus, and probably contributed to 30% of the loss if not more.

So where am I at the end of my 10 carnivorous days? I'm thinner, motivated, pumped with energy, tackling other issues in my life, and most importantly -- I'M HAPPY!!!

January 20, 2012

Foods	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Cholest	Sodium	Sugars	Fiber
Breakfast
Folgers - Coffee-1% Milk, 10 oz	46	5g	1g	3g	4mg	50mg	5g	0g
Dak Deli Ham 97% Fat Free - Deli Ham, 50 g	45	0g	1g	8g	0mg	446mg	0g	0g
Generic - Egg Whites (2 Scrambled), 3 Egg Whites	51	1g	0g	11g	0mg	165mg	1g	0g
Truvia - Sugar Substitute, 1 packet	0	3g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g
Lunch
Berkley & Jensen - Wild Ahi Tuna Steaks, 4 oz	120	0g	1g	25g	50mg	40mg	0g	0g
Dinner
Grilled Salmon-(Corrected) - Salmon, 5 oz	138	0g	6g	36g	95mg	121mg	0g	0g
Dietz & Watson - Maple & Honey Turkey Breast, 2 oz	60	2g	1g	11g	25mg	390mg	2g	0g
Snacks
Folgers - Coffee-1% Milk, 5 oz	23	2g	0g	2g	2mg	25mg	2g	0g
Truvia - Sugar Substitute, 1 packet	0	3g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g
Daisy - Low Fat Cottage Cheese 2% Milkfat Small Curd, 1/2 cup	90	4g	3g	14g	10mg	360mg	4g	0g
Whole Foods Bulk - Oat Bran, 18 g	46	12g	1g	3g	0mg	0mg	0g	3g
TOTAL:	619	32g	14g	113g	186mg	1,597mg	14g	3g

Exercises	Calories	Minutes	Sets	Reps	Weight
Cardiovascular
Walking, 3.0 mph, mod. pace, walking dog	131	25
TOTALS:	131	25	0	0	0

Picture from: http://www.claireshackelford.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/DS1-Start-finish-line.jpeg

Day 10 (Dukan quote)

The pounds you have gained that you now want to get rid of are a part of you that you may want to deny, but they are nevertheless a part that is a reflection of your nature, of your psychology, and therefore of your identity.

The extra pounds you carry have as much to do with your personality, emotions, and feelings and your own particular way of using the pleasure from food to deal with life’s small and large problems as they do with your genes, a family predisposition to put on weight, or the way your metabolism works. That is to say, the problem is not as simple as it seems, and it explains why so many others, and maybe you too in the past, have failed. To struggle against a force as powerful and ancient as the need to eat obviously cannot be based simply on rationally learning about nutrition, or on the hope that you will achieve self-control on your own.

Dukan, Pierre (2011-04-19). The Dukan Diet: 2 Steps to Lose the Weight, 2 Steps to Keep It Off Forever (p. 39-40). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Picture from: http://socialtimes.com/files/2011/03/esteem.jpg

I had to share this quote from Dukan's book. It's so true!!! The habits that have lead to our weight problem are usually NOT just restricted to the realm of food- they penetrate all areas of our lives. If one tackles "only" the weight issues- it's too easy to gain the weight back, once the goal has been reached. It's important to understand the underlying issues that cause us to put on the pounds. What are the triggers? The diet teaches us discipline- in food- and in life.

I can tell you from my own personal experience that the changes I've made have motivated me to change other areas of my life as well. I mentioned in an earlier post that I have a flex schedule, as I'm doing my Masters. So I lacked structure to my days. Well- being on the diet, I have to make sure I wake up early- have breakfast (~9am) afternoon snack (12pm) then lunch (~3pm) an afternoon snack (~5pm) then dinner (no later than 9pm).

Also, I've taken on the task of going back almost 15 years of "stuff" that's somehow ended up in my parent's house from years of moving from place to place. Somehow mom's house always ended up as the storage unit for my brother and I. So, I'm trying to go through everything and throwout/donate what I can. There are some other things I'm focusing on as well. For me, the diet, and the success from it, has given me the motivation and courage to tackle the past and the issues that I probably ignored, and probably made me turn to food...

Day 9 PM (shopping)

Went to BJs again today to prepare for the Cruise Phase of my diet. Can't wait to have some veggies-- and everything looks healthy ;) The bill was ~$75

-Broccoli

-Ahi Tuna Steaks

-Chopped Spinach

-Low Fat (2%) Cottage Cheese

-Fat Free Feta Cheese (SO HAPPY TO FIND THIS)

-Fat Free Plain Chobani greek yogurt

-Large Eggs (36pk)

-97% Fat Free Honey Roasted Turkey Deli Slices

-97% Fat Free Ham Deli Slices

-Salmon

-Seltzer (12x 1Qt) *Not shown

I need to get some chicken breast, but I'll do that some other time. They say you shouldn't have fish more than 3x per week, so I need to mix it up a bit. I might also start preparing actual meals rather than some grilled animal on a plate. Time to start getting creative with recipes!!!

Today was an interesting day food-wise. I just realized I didn't snack at all today. I woke up and walked the dog, then had breakfast, but I wasn't hungry again until 2pm when I made lunch. I had a huge piece of salmon because I just wanted to finish it, and I felt like I over ate (psychologically). I didn't get hungry for the rest of the day, but I had a 1/2cup of cottage cheese with my oat bran for dinner, so I wouldn't get hungry later in the evening.

I really want to start eating a lot less "stuff" now that I can do cruise. I know my caloric intake is low, but I feel like I put a lot of stuff in my mouth.

January 19, 2012

Foods	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Cholest	Sodium	Sugars	Fiber
Breakfast
Dak Deli Ham 97% Fat Free - Deli Ham, 75 g	67	0g	2g	12g	0mg	670mg	0g	0g
Egg Land's Best - Large Natural Egg (White Only, No Yolk), 4 egg	68	1g	0g	14g	0mg	220mg	1g	0g
Folgers - Coffee-1% Milk, 10 oz	46	5g	1g	3g	4mg	50mg	5g	0g
Lunch
Salmon - Grilled Atlantic Salmon, 9 oz.	408	0g	18g	62g	54mg	141mg	0g	0g
Dinner
Daisy - Low Fat Cottage Cheese 2% Milkfat Small Curd, 1/2 cup	80	4g	3g	14g	10mg	360mg	4g	0g
Whole Foods Bulk - Oat Bran, 18 g	46	12g	1g	3g	0mg	0mg	0g	3g
TOTAL:	715	22g	25g	108g	68mg	1,441mg	10g	3g

Food Notes

*Over-ate for lunch -Yuck!

Exercises	Calories	Minutes	Sets	Reps	Weight
Cardiovascular
Dancing, general	214	30
TOTALS:	214	30	0	0	0

Day 9 (Chunking!)

Now that I've completed a full week, I've decided to weigh myself 1/week rather than 1/day. I think this will keep me more motivated, and also the battery on my scale is dying. I want to get a new scale anyways.

I didn't sleep so great last night. I was tired but I stayed up watching a movie, so I didn't get to bed till after midnight and then something woke me up at 4 am, and it was hard getting back to sleep. Well my mood is not so great today either.

I started the day feeling down and focusing on how looooong I still need to go :(

2 days on Attack phase, and 3 months on cruise-- it was a bit overwhelming. Then I started thinking about all the areas of my life that are NOT where they need to be, and it wasn't even 11am, and I was totally unmotivated.

Of course I took to my normal routine and started venting to a friend, and she put me in my place- I guess a bit of tough love is what I needed. Got up and started cleaning, and I'm still working on this un-cluttering thing, so I will focus on that. At least that's doable. She gave me great advice! I need to start chunking things down. Looking at the big picture, just makes everything look impossible, but maybe chunking things down into smaller pieces seems more feasible. It's just too easy to get stuck on thinking and worrying about things.

So my goal for today-- change my focus! I know my mood will affect my diet, so I need to keep positive. Must sound strange after having accomplished a great week. I guess the truth is that the diet was helping me stay focused on something, but I don't want to just work on my diet and ignore all the other areas of my life. I want to do a whole transformation- because that's what I deserve! It's not like I want to change into a different person, I just want to change into the person I used to be- the real me! And I know if I don't do that-- no matter what diet I'm on or how much weight I loose- there will come a time-- when the stress will be too much and BAM!!! The weight will start coming back on.

This is not just about loosing weight-- it's about gaining control (back)-- AND MAINTAINING IT!!!

Just want to say thank you to all those who are supporting me along the process-- could never do it without your support-- you know who you are!

*Image from: http://mindpowermarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/takingsteps.jpg

Day 8 PM To wine or not to wine?

OH!!!!!!

I'm ready for bed, BUT I should tell you this ....

I wanted something different for dinner, so I went to the grocery store and got veal. I came home and cooked it, AND THEN I served, and it looked so nice, so I poured myself a glass of white wine. I sat down to eat, and just kept looking at the wine glass-- without thinking-- I raised the glass went to the kitchen and dumped it in the sink- better the wine than my progress!

Then I rinsed the glass and poured in some seltzer instead.

*Close call

January 18, 2012

Foods	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Cholest	Sodium	Sugars	Fiber
Breakfast
Folgers - Coffee-1% Milk, 10 oz	46	5g	1g	3g	4mg	50mg	5g	0g
Dak Deli Ham 97% Fat Free - Deli Ham, 35 g	31	0g	1g	6g	0mg	312mg	0g	0g
Generic - Egg Whites (2 Scrambled), 3 Egg Whites	51	1g	0g	11g	0mg	165mg	1g	0g
Truvia - Sugar Substitute, 1 packet	0	3g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g
Lunch
Salmon - Grilled Atlantic Salmon, 2.5 oz.	113	0g	5g	17g	15mg	39mg	0g	0g
Generic - Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing, 2 TBSP	100	6g	0g	0g	0mg	560mg	6g	0g
Dinner
Veal - Shoulder, blade, lean only, raw, 11.5 oz	368	0g	11g	64g	293mg	316mg	0g	0g
Snacks
Egg Whites - Hard Boiled, 2 large egg	34	2g	0g	7g	0mg	212mg	0g	0g
Quick Added Calories, 105 calories	105	0g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g
Chobani - Greek Non-Fat Plain, 3 ounces	53	3g	0g	9g	0mg	39mg	3g	0g
Chobani - Vanilla, Non Fat, 3 oz	60	7g	0g	8g	0mg	38mg	7g	0g
Dak Deli Ham 97% Fat Free - Deli Ham, 25 g	22	0g	1g	4g	0mg	223mg	0g	0g
TOTAL:	983	27g	19g	129g	312mg	1,954mg	22g	0g

Food Notes

Snack= 1 Dukan pancake (105 cals)

Confessions (pictures!)

As you can see - I have lost weight before. I had the most amazing trainer though ( I would give anything to find him again), and started watching what I ate.

The problem was that once I reached my goal (the #), I started thinking I was back to being ok. I had put on the weight in the first picture in about 3 years. I was rather thin before this, but you know how it is when you go away to college- and I had REALLY "gone away".

Anyway, I had taken some time off from school and came back. I was feeling awful- I had not finished school- I was HUGE - and I left all my friends behind. At some point I hit rock bottom, and I started working on ME! I started doing better and re-applied to college and got in to my top choice school, which I wasn't able to go to before (looooong story).

I was gearing up for graduation- had completely changed my world upside down. Everything was great- except my weight- so I got a trainer for 3 months. The second picture was taken on my graduation day. It took about 6 months to drop the weight.

I had it all...my degree, my dream job lined up, my own apartment... BUT, little by little the stress got to me, and the pounds started to come back. Ever since, it's been a struggle, yo-yo'ing with my weight.

I managed to get my weight down yet again, but then I moved to Italy, and needless to say the Carbs killed me!!! THEN to top it all off- I broke my ankle and had to have surgery, which meant no exercise for over a month!!! Once my foot recovered, and I had made the decision to leave my job. I took a year off to travel. I would go to the most amazing place- and had the greatest experiences. I had bought a new camera and loved traveling and taking pictures. BUT-- I would always delete any pictures of myself because I looked awful (overweight).

I think I have reverse anorexia - is there such a thing? I mean I was never "big" when I was young- I started putting on the weight in my mid 20s, and so when I close my eyes and picture myself - I never see a "fat" person. Even looking in the mirror, I don't see what I see when I see a picture of myself. AND THEN IT HITS- -"oh ...my...God!!!"

During my last trip before returning to the states, I had an epiphany- I realized there were so many things I was missing from my life because of my weight. I used to be "outdoorsy" I snowboarded, hiked, mountain climbed-- what had happened to this person? Had I traded all this in for pizza and beer? It was sad. So again I started a diet. I am always most motivated by seeing other people's before and after pictures (if they can do it - I can do it too), and in my google searches, I was always getting "the biggest looser" images, so I started reading Jillian Michaels books. Basically I started tracking my calories and exercising. I took up belly dancing and boxing and was keeping active. This was last year- and I lost almost 20lbs in 3 months.

So what happened?

Well, I got the itch to travel again. I went back to Europe for a month and back to Italy (Carb country) and the diet went out the window. I hadn't seen my friends in a loooong time and I missed them, so we would go out and it was - a spaghetti alla carbonara here- Bucatini all'amatriciana there- and everything accompanied by wine- and lots of it!

Well the weight didn't come back overnight. It actually took almost a year. I think this is the biggest problem for me-- that I don't really "notice" it. I know this must sound CRAZY!!!

But- I have clothes in my closet that range from a size 8 to a size 18, so I always had something to wear, and I was happy so I didn't notice it as much- well until a couple of weeks ago (see Day 5 AM blog) when one day - I felt totally defeated.

So here I am yet again, but this time I have- a plan- support -and, I'm documenting everything. I think as long as I keep hiding and thinking I'm not fat- I won't change because I don't really face the fact that I have a HUGE problem. a 70lb problem (now 62lb) - literally weighing me down. So here I am posting the WORST picture I could find of myself. This is a picture someone posted on FB-- I almost DIED when I saw it! But the truth is - it's me. Just to be fair- I'll post another picture- one of me that my friend found on someone else's FB albums. It's a picture of me in high school. I think these 2 pictures are the EXTREMES of my body.