So this morning, I sorta pulled a "Forrest". I was very angered by something (someone) and rather than let it (them) get to me, I decided to go for a walk/run. Walking has become a form of meditation for me.
I was upset because I felt that this person was not being supportive of me. I felt like no matter how much I changed, or how much I gave-- it was never enough. I know that you can't go around pleasing everyone, but it's different when it's family. Somehow they have the power to get under your skin like no one else. I know that what I'm doing is for ME, and so I don't need anyone's approval, I know that I don't need people to support me, but somehow the brain and the heart were not matching up. So as I said I just left the house, and took my frustrations out on the pavement. I guess we all choose which path to take, and today this is the path I chose (left). I went West on my usual path until I hit the end of the path and the end of town, so I turned around and went East. I ran along the path until I hit the end of the path on that end. I was still angered, so I got off the path and continued to go East, until I hit the end of town- well not only the end of town- but the end of the state (NJ), I came upon the George Washington bridge (pic on right) and decided to keep going.
I had already crossed my 5K mark, and decided to just Go!!!!! It was such a beautiful day, I just wanted to take it all in, so I got on the bridge and decided I would run to NY. I ran across the bridge and the view was spectacular. It put things into perspective for me, and the anger just left!
There are just too many things in life to be happy about and grateful for. There is not enough space in the heart for anger, when one is grateful. I felt at peace! I got across to the other side of the bridge to NY, and then I returned back home. 11 kilometers and 1027 calories burned-- this is a much better way to deal with stress, than food or shopping or whatever other coping mechanisms I would use in the past.
I was proud- proud that I had worked hard to get my body to a state where I could use it as a tool to deal with stress. I would have NEVER thought that I "could" do that before, and now I know I "can"!
I do not just want to loose weight- I want to transform my body and mind. Today, I felt this. I still have a ways to go, but I know that I'm going in the right direction.
...and as for the people who don't always support me... it's really not their job- it's great, if and when they do, but I have to remember that I am doing this for ME and noone else, and therefore I can not control or get angered by other people. They have their own issues to deal with- my job is to stay focused and stay determined - NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!
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